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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27017851">Fairy Tales Don't Happen on Tuesdays</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HardNoctLife/pseuds/HardNoctLife'>HardNoctLife</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bodyswap, First Kiss, Getting Together, Humor, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romantic Comedy, Status Effects</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:49:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,868</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27017851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HardNoctLife/pseuds/HardNoctLife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“All Crownsguard go through it,” Noctis assured him. </p><p>Prompto side-eyed Noctis from where he sat on the other end of the park bench. “I thought hazing was, like, illegal or something.” </p><p>“It’s not hazing, just think of it as... a rite of passage.”</p><p>“Fine. When is this totally-not-hazing-rite-of-passage gonna happen?” He could hear Noctis grinning.</p><p>“Oh, when you least expect it. It’s more fun that way.”</p><p>Prompto groaned. “I was afraid of that.”</p><p>----</p><p>When Noctis's attempt to pull a prank on his best friend goes horribly wrong, Prompto and Gladio are forced to get better acquainted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gladiolus Amicitia/Prompto Argentum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fairy Tales Don't Happen on Tuesdays</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshllyman/gifts">joshllyman</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written for @joshllyman, one of the winners of my 500-follower one-shot giveaway! Just like the other one-shot I wrote, this one ended up being nearly 7k because I got so into it.</p><p>Thank you Kou for providing the idea and for entering the giveaway. This was so much fun to write, and I hope others enjoy it as much as I did.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“All Crownsguard go through it,” Noctis assured him. A smile played on his lips, partially hidden behind his ice cream cone.</p><p>Prompto side-eyed Noctis from where he sat on the other end of the park bench. “I thought hazing was, like, illegal or something.” He slumped down, folding his arms across his chest, turning his attention to the people walking by.</p><p>It was the first day it felt like spring in Insomnia after a brutal winter, warm with clear skies, which meant there were couples <em>galore </em>in Central City Park, walking their dogs, having picnics, and generally being unfairly adorable. Meanwhile, Prompto was playing hooky from his soon-to-be ex-part-time-job with his best friend, and definitely not a boyfriend.</p><p><em>Could be worse</em>, Prompto figured. He could be eating ice cream totally alone.</p><p>“It’s not <em>hazing</em>, just think of it as... a rite of passage.” Noctis opened his mouth wide to devour what remained of his waffle cone as Prompto sighed loudly.</p><p>“Fine. When is this totally-not-hazing-rite-of-passage gonna happen?” He leaned his head back, blinking up at the azure sky. He could <em>hear </em>Noctis grinning.</p><p>“Oh, when you least expect it. It’s more fun that way.”</p><p>Prompto groaned. “I was afraid of that.”</p>
<hr/><p>Apparently, the answer to Prompto’s question was: next Tuesday.</p><p>Tuesdays were weird days already. Everyone could agree to hate Mondays. The start of the work week was always the hardest, especially after a long weekend. Wednesdays were considered the ‘middle’ of the week, so yay, congrats on being halfway through! Thursday was the day before Friday, plus lots of restaurants had specials on Thursdays. And Friday was, well, Friday. More commonly known as Fri<em>yay</em>. And no matter what bad things happened on a Friday, at least you didn’t have to go into the office the next day. Saturday and Sunday, of course, were the weekend, which gave them an automatic pass. Unless you had the misfortune of working, they were designated for rest and relaxation. What was not to like?</p><p>But Tuesdays? There was <em>nothing </em>exciting about Tuesdays, which made it the perfect day for hazing—<em>ahem</em>—a ‘rite of passage.’ Prompto of all people should have known this, but to be fair, he had been a bit distracted at the time.</p><p>The name of said distraction? Gladiolus Amicitia.</p><p>Let the record show that Prompto tried to be as cool and professional as possible considering his five-year-long crush on what could only be described as the softest, meatiest, most attractive Shield in Lucian history. (Alright, so Prompto didn’t have any other Shields to compare Gladio to other than his father, Clarus, but <em>still</em>.)</p><p>The crush had started back in Prompto’s first year of high school when Gladio had found him and Noctis sitting on the front steps after the final bell, debating whether to go to the arcade before or after finishing their math homework. Before was the safest bet, but it was gonna take some time to beat the high score on that new fighting game they’d been playing. <em>Priorities. </em></p><p>At the time, Prompto hadn’t even been aware of Gladio’s existence.</p>
<hr/><p>He had stopped directly in front of Noctis<em>—</em>tall, dark, and handsome<em>—</em>staring down at him without so much as glancing in Prompto’s direction. That, at least, Prompto was used to. It was the tradeoff for having a famous, important bestie.</p><p>When Noctis stopped talking, Prompto did the same, giving Gladio his full attention.</p><p>He was wearing a hoodie and jeans with his hat turned backward, like a run-of-the-mill jock, and Prompto had squared his shoulders, mentally preparing for anything except a fight. The guy looked like he could snap him in half without even breaking a sweat, so he’d be better off running. Prompto was good at running.</p><p>“Yo, we training today or what?”</p><p>Prompto was surprised by the tone of familiarity. Clearly, this wasn’t just <em>any</em> jock, but a jock that <em>knew </em>Noctis. But why would they be training together? And training in <em>what</em> exactly? Noctis wasn’t exactly into athletics.</p><p>“Today?” Noctis didn’t sound pleased. “Can’t we do it tomorrow? I’m busy.”</p><p>“You said that yesterday. You can’t keep ditching me for the arcade, princess.”</p><p><em>Princess</em>? Prompto was caught between cringing and laughing, but he did neither, staring up at Gladio in awe. He knew Ignis wasn’t afraid of reprimanding Noctis because it was kinda his job, but this was another level of comfort that Prompto didn’t expect.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah.” Noctis made no effort to move though, linking his hands behind his head and leaning back. “But I already made plans with Prompto, so.”</p><p>Slowly, the towering behemoth of a teenager switched his focus onto Prompto as if seeing him for the first time.</p><p><em>Great, just great.</em> So much for going unnoticed.</p><p>“H-hi, I’m Prompto.” He waved a little and instantly regretted that it probably made him look like a giant dork.</p><p>“Gladio.” He paused, thick eyebrows furrowing briefly before looking back to Noctis.</p><p><em>Whew</em>. <em>Could have been worse—</em></p><p>“Bring him along. You two can hang out after.”</p><p>—<em>wait, what?</em></p><p>“Ugh. Fine. One hour.”</p><p>—<em>wait, WHAT??</em></p><p>“Sure. See you at five, princess.”</p><p>Gladio turned to leave, and Prompto jumped to his feet in a panic.</p><p>“Wait!” Both Gladio and Noctis startled as if they hadn’t been expecting Prompto to speak up. He floundered beneath their identical incredulous looks, losing his nerve. “...uh. What should I wear?”</p><p>A subtle shift occurred in Gladio’s eyes as he scanned Prompto from head-to-toe. Prompto’s stomach flip-flopped nervously. “That depends on if you want to get dirty, Blondie.” His smirk was wolfish, and Prompto gulped, heat spreading through his face. Saluting playfully, he turned away. “See you later.”</p><p>Prompto watched Gladio as he sauntered off, unaware that his mouth was hanging open until Noctis nudged him.</p><p>“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he said, rolling his eyes.</p><p>Prompto responded faster than his brain could process. “...you think he’d mind?” Judging by Noctis’s horrified look, it was the wrong answer. “Dude! Kidding! <em>Totally</em> kidding.”</p><p>He’d laughed it off then, but he wasn’t laughing a year later when he was suddenly coming up with reasons to accompany Noctis to his training sessions with Gladio. Or two years later, when Gladio asked Prompto to join him and Noctis at the movies every so often. And even three in, when Prompto was actually getting more compliments from Gladio than sarcasm, and holy <em>shit</em>, they even texted each other like friends did. The fourth year, Prompto decided that the crush was there to stay after Gladio helped Ignis and Noctis throw him a surprise party for his eighteenth birthday.</p><p>And now, in year five of hopelessly pining, Prompto decided to join the Crownsguard.</p><p>“<em>Why</em>? You think being in the military is stupid,” Noctis had pointed out as he popped a greasy diner fry into his mouth.</p><p>Prompto wouldn’t admit that he hoped it would help him overcome his longtime crush—because everyone knew not to date their co-workers, especially when their best friend’s life might depend on it...right?</p><p>“The Crownsguard isn’t stupid. It means I’ll get to hang out with you every day! Basically, I’ll get paid to do everything I’m doing right now.” He took a loud slurp of his milkshake, earning a disapproving look from one of the waitresses passing by.</p><p>Noctis shook his head. “Whatever you say.”</p><p>No one had really expected Prompto to follow through with the decision, least of all Prompto, but then Gladio had brought it up at one of their game nights.</p><p>Gladio had plopped down next to Prompto on the couch, bending forward to grab a controller off the coffee table. “Heard you’re joining the Guard,” he said conversationally.</p><p>“O-oh, yeah. If I can pass the entrance exams.” Prompto laughed to hide his nervousness.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ll help you,” Gladio made the promise with a grin and a wink that melted Prompto’s insides.</p><p>It was then that Prompto knew he couldn’t back down, and just a couple of short months later, he was officially inducted into the Crownsguard (much to his surprise).</p><p>
  <em>Ta-da!</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Now, Prompto was reporting for his second <em>official</em> day. He was even wearing his new Crownsguard fatigues and everything. Plaid and coeurl print never looked so good.</p><p>Gladio had been nice enough to offer to meet Prompto outside the Citadel to show him where to report. His first shift had consisted of a bunch of boring paperwork and orientation videos that he struggled to stay awake for, but he was assured that he’d get to do ‘real’ Guard duties today.</p><p>And if those duties just-so-happened to involve Gladio? <em>Bonus</em>!</p><p>The whole thing unfolded like a scene straight from a movie, complete with a happy-go-lucky soundtrack, courtesy of the music playing through his earbuds. Gladio was standing just inside the Citadel’s gates, the sun striking him at the perfect angle to set his eyes ablaze and highlight all of his best features, including the rock hard abs saying ‘good morning’ beneath his open leather jacket. Prompto focused on keeping his eyes up and shoulders back, approaching as casually as he could so not to trip over his own feet.</p><p>“Yo,” Gladio greeted with an easy smile, running fingers through his already perfect hair.</p><p>“Heyaz!”</p><p>If it were a romance movie, Gladio would have taken Prompto by the arm and pulled him in slowly, casually commenting on this or that feature before holding intimate eye contact.</p><p>They’d be interrupted just before they had a chance to kiss, either by the stuffy supervisor or oblivious, but well-meaning best friend. Prompto was pretty sure that was usually his role to fill, but not today. Today, he was determined to be the protagonist of this story.</p><p>But today had other things in mind, and last on the list of plot devices was ‘idiots to lovers.’</p><p>Prompto had stepped within spitting range of Gladio when he saw <em>it</em>.</p><p>A familiar blue-tinged streak of light, bright and bold, in the all-too-recognizable shape of Noctis Lucis Caelum in mid-warp.</p><p>Prompto didn’t have time to react, not even to open his mouth and warn Gladio. All he managed to do was make a strangled noise while time seemed to unilaterally stand still, everything seeming to happen all at once.</p><p>There was a noise like a vacuum in space abruptly opening and closing, like that high pitched whine of a runaway train, growing louder and then more distant as it roared past.</p><p>Prompto noticed a distinct pressure in his lungs as something—or rather, <em>someone</em>—collided with him, and it knocked the air from his chest with the force of a popped balloon. He saw stars, a jarring experience in the light of day, and was momentarily blinded as he fell—and fell, and fell.</p><p>It was as if the ground had opened to swallow him up, and though he clawed desperately, he found nothing to hold onto. Instead, darkness closed in on all sides, smothering him until there was nothing left.</p><p>No sky, no Citadel, no Gladio.</p><p>Prompto’s last fleeting thought was that this was feeling more like a horror film than the standard romcom, and he was <em>not</em> about that life.</p><p>Thanks, good-for-nothing Tuesday.</p>
<hr/><p>Weird didn’t quite cover how Prompto was feeling, but he didn’t know any other ways to describe it, so weird would have to do for now.</p><p>His brain felt foggy in the way you sometimes do after waking from a long nap, unaware of the time or the day or your exact location in space.</p><p>He knew instinctively that he was in a bed, which was good. In bed was better than dead, right? He didn’t think it was <em>his</em> bed based on how much natural light filtered the room beyond his eyelids, and he thought hard, trying to remember what happened to lead up to this exact moment.</p><p>He’d been waiting at the Citadel gates for Prompto—no, reverse that—meeting <em>Gladio</em> at the Citadel gates, and…</p><p>Prompto tried to open his eyes, but they were <em>so damn </em>heavy. Someone was talking nearby in a hushed, worried tone, and an equally hushed and worried tone answered it.</p><p>“...he’s gonna flip…”</p><p>“Shh, I believe he’s awake.”</p><p>Prompto tried again, straining from the effort, and gradually, his eyelids pulled apart, revealing the Citadel’s infirmary. Shapes moved in his periphery, and a slight turn of his head revealed Noctis and Ignis standing over his bedside, wide-eyed in what he hoped was relief.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell happened anyway?</em>
</p><p>“Noct,” he rasped, shocked by the deep tenor of his voice in his ears.</p><p>Noctis grimaced, shaking his head. “Don’t talk, uh.” He shot a nervous look in Ignis’s direction that went unacknowledged. “There was an accident.”</p><p>Was it just his imagination, or did Ignis look irritated? After a moment of uneasy silence, Ignis pointedly cleared his throat.</p><p>“I’ll leave you to explain,” Ignis said, and <em>yikes,</em> the temperature dropped a few degrees as he swept past the privacy screen that created a partition around Prompto’s bed and out into the hallway.</p><p>Noctis rubbed the back of his neck in what could only be interpreted as a guilty gesture.</p><p>“So, about that hazing you mentioned…”</p><p>“Rite of passage?” Prompto corrected him, then stopped, forcibly clearing his throat. It sounded like he had a frog stuck in it with how deep his voice was all of a sudden.</p><p>Noctis winced. “Yeah, <em>that</em>. So, don’t freak out, but, I kinda experimented with some status effect stuff, and...”</p><p>
  <em>Oh gods, is a frog actually stuck in my throat?</em>
</p><p>Prompto reached a hand up to grab around his neck, then paused, seeing his unusually tanned skin and—<em>wow</em>—the definition of his forearm muscles, not to mention the tattooed feathers—</p><p>His brain wasn’t processing Noctis’s words properly, that much he knew. He could barely hear his friend over the buzzing in his own head. All he could hear was his voice yelling, getting louder and clearer in his mind.</p><p>“What the <em>fuck </em>is going on?! I swear to the Six I’m going to kill him! Where is he? Is he in here?!”</p><p>The next thing he knew, the curtain was being thrown back and someone with blonde hair and blue eyes who looked way too much like his identical twin was storming in with Ignis on his heels. Noctis cowered in the corner at the sight of him, hands held up as if to shield himself from enemy fire.</p><p><em>Maybe I am dead after all</em>.</p><p>“Gladio, wait!” Noctis shouted, which was funny, because that was definitely <em>not </em>Gladio. Not even close.</p><p><em>Or dreaming. Could be a dream</em>, he reasoned. That made sense. This was all just a bad dream. He tripped over his own feet and smacked his head on the pavement, and any moment now he’d wake up in his bed in his apartment and Noctis would be there to tease him about how much of a klutz he was.</p><p>Ignis stood a ways off, looking more smug than Prompto had ever seen him as he watched the doppelganger Prompto wail on Noctis with his fists. After a moment, his eyes turned on Prompto, head tilting.</p><p>“You’re taking this rather well,” he said.</p><p>“Huh?” Prompto murmured, still weirded out by whatever his voice was doing.</p><p>“The news.”</p><p>“What news?”</p><p>Doppelganger Prompto stopped, hand remaining curled in Noctis’s hair with no signs of letting go. “The brat body swapped us!” he growled. “As a <em>prank</em>! And he doesn’t know a way to switch us back!”</p><p>The wheels began to turn in Prompto’s mind, the fog gradually lifting. <em>Oh</em>. <em>Oh no</em>.</p><p>He looked down at his hand again, at the sunkissed knuckles and the callouses, at the distinctive eagle feathers trailing up his arm. Still unable to believe it, he reached to drag fingers through thick, dark hair that fell down to brush the tops of his shoulders.</p><p>
  <em>Oh gods oh gods oh gods—no no no no.</em>
</p><p>The room had gone quiet, all eyes now on Prompto, or should he say…</p><p>“Gladio?” he whispered, the tenor now recognizable. How could he have mistaken that voice for anyone else’s?</p><p>“Prompto, remain calm,” Ignis began to say.</p><p>The room tilted, then spun. This time, Prompto embraced the darkness willingly.</p>
<hr/><p>Ignis’s voice was like a lifeline that pulled Prompto from the depths of slumber and back into the living world.</p><p>“Prompto? Prompto, can you hear me?”</p><p>Prompto blinked awake, and <em>thank the Six</em>, the first thing he saw was the familiar walls of his own bedroom. The next thing he saw was Ignis, sitting in a chair at his bedside. He looked relieved, if not a bit tired, dark bags under his eyes and his forehead creased in concentration.</p><p>
  <em>Wow, what a weird dream… </em>
</p><p>“Iggy?” Prompto whispered, then stopped, deep seeded dread flooding into him.</p><p>
  <em>My voice, it’s still—</em>
</p><p>“I see that Noctis did not explain the situation thoroughly enough.” Ignis placed a hand on Prompto’s—<em>Gladio’s</em>—bare arm and squeezed lightly, his expression carefully hopeful. “It appears that the unknown cocktail of status ailments that Noctis used on you resulted in a status effect we have never experienced before, but not to worry, we will be working diligently with Citadel staff to develop an antidote. Until then, you and Gladio need only wait patiently.”</p><p>
  <em>So it wasn’t a dream.</em>
</p><p>“Wait patiently?” Prompto demanded, sitting up with surprising ease. “So—I—<em>we</em>—could be like this <em>forever</em>?” His newly deepened voice skewed to a higher octave and Ignis winced.</p><p>“No, certainly not forever. A few days, perhaps. Weeks, at the most.”</p><p>“<em>Weeks</em>?!”</p><p>
  <em>No, it’s not a dream. This is a nightmare!</em>
</p><p>Ignis folded his hands in his lap. “I know it is not ideal—” Prompto snorted, then laughed loudly at the absurdity of it all. Ignis watched Prompto as he bent forward, body racking with giggles until he was on the verge of tears. “Gladio should be here shortly with some clothes for you,” he continued once Prompto’s guffaws trailed off into weak chuckles. “Please call if you need anything.”</p><p>He moved to rise, and Prompto’s hand shot out to grab him by the wrist, fear and desperation squeezing his throat closed.</p><p>“Iggy… we <em>can</em> fix this… right?”</p><p>Ignis hesitated briefly before patting Prompto’s hand reassuringly. “Of course. I will call you as soon as I have an update.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Prompto released Ignis’s hand, listening as he left the room, fading footsteps eventually punctuated by a closing door.</p><p>Once alone, he buried his face in his unfamiliar hands, startled by the facial hair that bristled against his palms. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and was set to spiral into full panic mode when he heard his front door open forcefully.</p><p>“I-Ignis?” he called out, unsure why he would have returned so soon.</p><p>A moment later, he was face-to-face with <em>not</em> Ignis, but himself. Or rather, as he quickly reminded himself, Gladio in <em>his</em> body.</p><p>The literal out-of-body experience made them both freeze, and they stared at one another for longer than was polite.</p><p>“H-hey,” Prompto greeted not-Prompto-but-Gladio.</p><p>Gladio sighed, leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed and eyebrows drawn together, and Prompto couldn’t help but be amazed how <em>Gladio</em> the gesture was, though it was less impressive with his small frame and doe-eyes. He wore Prompto’s clothes better than Prompto ever had, loose t-shirt and sagging jeans less awkward and more stylish with his mussed blond hair, like he was ready for a personal photoshoot.</p><p>“I brought you some stuff to wear,” Gladio explained as he scanned the room idly.</p><p>“Oh. ...Thanks. Dunno if I’ll pull yours off as well as you pull off mine.” Prompto attempted levity, but it didn’t hit right, and they both shifted awkwardly.</p><p>“It’s all about the attitude,” Gladio reassured him with a shrug. “You have to <em>feel</em> the outfit, or it doesn’t work.”</p><p>Self-confidence wasn’t something that came easily to Prompto though. Maybe someday—<em>if</em> he ever got the chance.</p><p>Swallowing hard, Prompto finally threw back the bedsheets to put his feet on the floor. He studied them, noting the dark hair on the top of each foot, and the way the toes naturally curled at an angle.</p><p>“Mind if I take some of yours?” Gladio took a few steps toward the closet.</p><p>“Hold on—I’ll get them!” Prompto was up before Gladio could blink, tripping over his larger-than-normal feet in his haste to get off the bed. He managed to catch himself before he went face first into the floor, gasping as his hands slapped the ground. Painful vibrations shot from his palms all the way up to his shoulders, aching deep in his bones.</p><p>Gladio snorted. “What, you stash your porn in here or somethin’?” He pulled open the closet door before Prompto could stop him, then paused. “Oh. Wow.”</p><p>With a hiss of embarrassment, Prompto picked himself up to shove in front of Gladio and slam the door shut. When he whirled around, he towered over his former body, tickled to see his own blue eyes go wide in amazement.</p><p>
  <em>So, this is what it’s like to be tall, huh? I could get used to this. </em>
</p><p>“Didn’t know you jerked off to pictures of me, Blondie.”</p><p>For a split second, Prompto fantasized about punching himself in the face.</p><p>“I don’t!” Prompto squeaked, embarrassment turning to irritation as Gladio’s signature smirk appeared on his face. “There are pictures of Noct in there too,” he blurted.</p><p>The smirk evolved into a full-on grin, and Gladio placed his hands on his hips, stance wider than Prompto would have ever dared to stand. “So, you jerk off to both of us? Didn’t take you for that kinda guy.”</p><p>Prompto groaned in frustration, low, and guttural, and <em>masculine</em>. <em>Weird</em>.</p><p>“Knock yourself out, except—” Gladio frowned again, “—not <em>now</em>, obviously.”</p><p>They seemed to reach the same realization at the exact same time, mirroring each other’s horrified looks.</p><p>“You wouldn’t—”</p><p>“Me? Never! No way, dude!” Prompto interrupted, hurt by what Gladio was proposing.</p><p>He chuckled a little, shaking his head in embarrassment. “Right, yeah. Sorry. It’s just… you hear stuff like that happening in books and movies, ya know?”</p><p>“Sure.” Prompto was on his feet now, still wound tight from the topic of conversation. “But this isn’t the movies, this is real life.”</p><p>“Unfortunately.”</p><p>They exchanged sympathetic looks, some of the tension melting away, and Prompto plopped down on the edge of his bed. Walking like he was still 6’6” and solid muscle, Gladio wandered over to join him.</p><p>Prompto looked at <em>his</em> arms and legs, and hair, and clothes; beside him, yet seemingly so far out of his reach.</p><p>“I’m scared.” The confession escaped from Prompto unbidden, but Gladio didn’t laugh.</p><p>“Me too. Scared shitless,” he admitted. Though it didn’t change anything, it made Prompto feel marginally better. He glanced over, seeing Gladio smile in his direction, and <em>hey</em>, <em>my smile isn’t half bad</em>. It looked genuine and easy, and he gave Gladio full credit for that. It seemed like he was a natural charmer no matter whose skin he was in.</p><p><em>Lucky guy</em>.</p><p>“Well, we got nothing better to do except wait. Wanna go out and get something to eat?” Gladio offered.</p><p>Eager for a distraction, Prompto nodded emphatically, but then he fell silent, looking away.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>He clasped his hands in-between his knees and sighed. “Before we go… I gotta pee.”</p><p>There was a beat of awkward silence before they both burst out laughing.</p>
<hr/><p>If this were a movie, there would be a montage here. There’d probably be some upbeat music as it played, and the audience would laugh as they watched Gladio and Prompto gradually get used to living in each other's bodies, showing how they naturally grew closer as a result of this strange and unfortunate mishap.</p><p>They’d definitely show the scene where Gladio went home to his confused family, because Iris’s reaction was priceless, though they’d skim over the part where Clarus gave Gladio a stern talking-to. Something about ‘being more careful’ and his duty to Noctis being compromised, and ‘don’t you dare walk away from me, young man’. They might show Prompto’s phone call to his parents, and how it took almost an hour for him to convince them that, ‘yes, this is Prompto’, and ‘no, I promise, I’m fine. Noct and Ignis are gonna fix this. Yeah, of course I trust them.’</p><p>If this were a movie, the countless failed attempts by Ignis and Noctis to reverse the bizarre status effect on their friends would be condensed into the funniest few. In no particular order: turning them into giant toads, mysteriously vanishing their clothes (<em>that</em> was awkward), and inflicting confusion that had both of them spinning in circles and running into things for the better part of the day. Among the cut scenes: Gladio punching a wall in his frustration and breaking his (Prompto’s) hand, Prompto bawling his (Gladio’s) eyes out while Noctis recorded for posterity, and a few days later, when there was a manhunt for the missing prince when he hid in the Citadel gardens to deal with his crushing guilt.</p><p>“If we fix this, I’ll never prank you again,” he swore to Prompto later that night on the phone.</p><p>“I know, dude. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen.”</p><p>The movie would gloss over the fact that they wouldn’t resolve this in days. Not even a couple weeks. After a month came and went, Prompto was resigned that he may never be returned to his own body ever again.</p>
<hr/><p>It had been another long day. A day filled with acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t. You would think that after five weeks, Prompto would have gotten used to living in Gladio’s body, but he’d spent nineteen years trying to master his own with little success. He should have known that five weeks wouldn’t be enough.</p><p>Every night when he went to sleep, he’d pray to whatever god might be listening that he would wake up miraculously back to normal. And every morning, he was disappointed.</p><p>It wasn’t all bad though, being in Gladio’s body. For one thing, no one bothered him. He could go into the Crownsguard training hall, get his workout in, and leave without speaking a single word to anyone, which was nice because he didn’t feel much like socializing. Though, when he walked around town, he noticed more people staring at him. It was unnerving at first, but then he realized he couldn’t blame them. After all, he had stared at Gladio on more than one occasion when he thought he wasn’t looking.</p><p>Prompto tried to make the best of a bad situation by keeping up his normal routine: early morning runs, hanging out with Noctis, and training at the Citadel. Gladio did the same.</p><p>And little by little, Gladio sought him out more and more. At first, by asking to join him on those morning runs. And then, asking if Prompto could show him how to shoot guns. In return, Prompto asked for a swordsmanship lesson.</p><p>It was strange, seeing his small self holding a broadsword like an extension of his own arm, muscles straining against its weight. Even stranger, to hear <em>his</em> voice telling him how to hold the blade properly, milky white hands gently adjusting his larger, clumsier grip.</p><p>They got through those early weeks together, sharing bits of their lives and their ‘normal’, until a new normal was established. Part of that new normal included nightly updates, with a breakdown of the day and any information that might be helpful to share. (For example, Prompto had forgotten to mention that he was lactose intolerant, forcing Gladio to find out the hard way.)</p><p>Prompto was sitting on his apartment’s tiny balcony when Gladio called. The night was creeping in, daylight fading behind Insomnia’s skyline, and his small folding chair creaked as he shifted his weight to answer the phone.</p><p>“Yo,” his voice greeted him. Prompto forced a smile. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to that.</p><p>“Heyaz,” Prompto responded gruffly. He heard a laugh. It was reassuring to know that Gladio wasn’t used to it either.</p><p>“How’s it going?”</p><p>“Oh, you know, it’s going.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>A long pause. They both took ragged breaths as if they were about to speak, then held them, waiting.</p><p>Gladio was the first to break the silence. “I think dad’s gotten used to it. He’s mostly stopped avoiding me. Even asked if I wanted to come to Iris’s school play.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah?”</p><p>Prompto leaned back, propping his feet on the railing of the balcony. Normally, his legs weren’t long enough to reach. He tilted his head, counting the stars that were peeking through the darkness slowly overtaking the sky.</p><p>“Mm,” Gladio grunted. “But I told him to go without me. Didn’t want to be mistaken for her boyfriend or somethin’.”</p><p>“Ew! I’m way too old for her! Long lost cousin <em>maybe</em>.”</p><p>“Ha! You’re too blond for that.” Somehow, Gladio’s chuckle still managed to sound deep and sultry. “Besides, pretty sure she’s only playing a minor role. A frog, I think. Not gonna sit through two hours of torture for ten minutes of dialogue, y’know?”</p><p>Prompto closed his eyes, trying to picture Gladio’s little sister dressed as a frog. It was a cute image. “What play is it?” he asked, mostly for lack of anything better to say. He was in no hurry to tell Gladio about how boring his day was, or how yet <em>another</em> girl hit on him and he had to turn her down.</p><p>“The Frog Prince.”</p><p>Prompto could hear crickets chirping nearby, mixed with the occasional car passing on the highway. “Isn’t that the one where the princess kisses the frog and he turns into a prince?”</p><p>“Yeah, though apparently in the original she throws him against a wall.”</p><p>Prompto chortled in surprise, sitting up. “For real? That’s...a little dark for a kid’s story.”</p><p>“I know, right? But this play is the kissing play, not the violent version.”</p><p>“Good for Iris then, I guess,” he laughed, and Gladio did too, and Prompto felt his heart unexpectedly squeeze in his chest.</p><p>
  <em>Wouldn’t it be funny if…</em>
</p><p>“Wish it were that easy,” sighed Gladio.</p><p>The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Wouldn’t hurt to try. We’ve tried just about everything else.”</p><p>He froze, horrified to realize he had spoken his thoughts out loud, and was about to switch the subject when Gladio followed up the crazy suggestion with: “Sure, why not?”</p><p>Prompto frowned heavily, assuming he heard wrong. “Huh?”</p><p>“You’re at home, right? I’ll be right there.”</p><p>“Wha? W-wait—!”</p><p>But it was too late. Gladio hung up, leaving Prompto with approximately fifteen minutes to prepare—or conversely, to panic.</p>
<hr/><p>When Prompto opened the door, Gladio was leaning casually against the wall across the hall.</p><p>Gladio didn’t wait for permission. He strolled past Prompto into the apartment, having grown familiar with its layout over their recent time spent together. Entering the living area, he plopped onto Prompto’s sad couch, sinking down into the worn cushions and crossing one leg over to rest an ankle on his opposite knee.</p><p>As if it were his own apartment, and Prompto the guest, he patted the open space next to him invitingly.</p><p>Fifteen minutes hadn’t been enough time. If Prompto were being honest, no amount would have been. Five years spent daydreaming about this exact moment, and now that it was here, he found he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.</p><p>Because even though he knew it was <em>Gladio</em> on his couch, all he could see was himself, and that made the moment all wrong. This was out of necessity, a joke when it came right down to it.</p><p>And Prompto cared too much—<em>felt </em>too deeply—to pull it off with any semblance of grace. He knew the joke would fall flat, and he’d only have himself to blame.</p><p>
  <em>If only I had kept my big mouth shut.</em>
</p><p>“Hey, it’s just me,” Gladio said. “And by that, I mean <em>you</em>.” He was smiling, trying to put Prompto at ease, and somehow that made it worse.</p><p>Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans to keep them from fidgeting, Prompto swallowed hard.</p><p>“Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to kiss yourself?” Gladio teased. He patted the couch cushion again and Prompto took one step forward and stopped.</p><p>“I like you,” he blurted because he couldn’t hold it in any longer. For better or for worse, he needed Gladio to know, because no, he didn’t have any chill, and yes, it might ruin things, but what was five years in the grand scheme of things?</p><p>Five weeks. Five hours. Five very painful seconds of silence, his eyes on the floor, and his heart in his throat.</p><p>
  <em>Why am I like this?</em>
</p><p>“Oh.” His voice sounded small and far away. It was the first time Gladio had sounded like <em>him</em>. “Is it…” There was a moment of hesitation.</p><p>Gladio didn’t hesitate. Gladio was bold, and sure, and confident. Prompto lifted his eyes, hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.</p><p>But Gladio wasn’t frowning, and he didn’t look angry. He studied Prompto with a curious gaze, head tilted slightly to one side as if he was truly seeing him for the first time.</p><p>It was unnerving, and Prompto shifted, hands now fists in his pockets.</p><p>“Is it too weird then?” Gladio finally finished. “To kiss me like this?”</p><p>None of this was how Prompto imagined it would be. Was he really suggesting what he thought he was suggesting?</p><p>He took another step closer, and another, until they were within arm’s reach, but Prompto didn’t sit down. He couldn’t—not yet.</p><p>“You… still want to?” Now Prompto was frowning, unsure if Gladio was only humoring him. The last thing he wanted was to be the butt of the joke.</p><p>The easy smile was back. <em>Gladio’s</em> smile. “Yeah, I want to,” he admitted. “I’ve wanted to for a while.”</p><p>A laugh slipped out, startling them both. Prompto laughed again, louder and deeper the second time. It felt good, vibrating through his chest and against his ribcage.</p><p>“I didn’t think… I never imagined…” He stopped himself, knowing that Gladio understood.</p><p>“Me neither. Life’s strange, isn’t it?”</p><p>This time, when Gladio patted the couch, Prompto sat. Their combined weight caused them to sink down and in, their shoulders bumping together. A thin, toned arm wrapped around Prompto’s (Gladio’s) shoulders.</p><p>“See how smooth you can be if you don’t doubt yourself?” Gladio’s (Prompto’s) tone was mischievous, and Prompto found that he rather liked it.</p><p>Shyly, he let his head come to rest against Gladio’s shoulder, though the angle was a bit awkward now that he was so much bigger. He decided it was worth the effort. “I’ll try to remember that,” he promised.</p><p>When Gladio leaned closer, Prompto closed his eyes and pretended that it was actually him. That the soft lips brushing over his mouth were outlined in stubble, that the delicate fingers weaving into his hair were in fact rough, that the small hand on his thick waist was bigger and stronger as it pulled him in.</p><p>When their legs tangled together and they went sideways, he almost forgot whose body was whose, until he had to come up for air and blinked his eyes open, staring into pools of violet-blue.</p><p>“Guess it didn’t work, huh?” Gladio didn’t sound all that disappointed though. “Hmm, ya think I should throw you against a wall?”</p><p>Prompto pulled back, feigning offense. “Are you saying <em>I’m</em> the frog?”</p><p>“No, I’m saying you’re the prince in disguise.”</p><p><em>So damn smooth</em>.</p><p>Prompto was too flattered to be annoyed, his smile becoming a smirk all on its own. “Maybe we should try again.”</p><p>And they did.</p><p>Again, and again, and again.</p>
<hr/><p>Prompto knew it was morning from the way his hushed breaths traveled farther and how the light peeking through the blinds tinged the furniture blue-gray.</p><p>He came out of his sleep like he was coming up from the bottom of a deep pool, thoughts struggling to rise to the surface. The day and the time eluded him, but he had the feeling it was early since he couldn’t hear the hustle and bustle of the world outside, birds and cars still dozing.</p><p>More importantly, there was a warm heaviness on top of Prompto that he wasn’t accustomed to. Without looking down he knew it must be Gladio. They had talked until they could no longer stay upright only to sprawl together on the couch without giving a second thought to how it might feel to wake up intertwined.</p><p>Now that he thought about it, it felt pretty great, actually.</p><p>Prompto tried to squirm out from underneath him, surprised by how difficult it was.</p><p>
  <em>Since when did I get so heavy?</em>
</p><p>Like a caterpillar emerging from a cocoon, he inched his way upright, groaning as he gave one last push to shove Gladio’s dead weight aside.</p><p>“Jeez, you’re—” The rest he swallowed with a gasp, slapping his hand over his mouth to silence the familiar voice.</p><p>Except it was truly <em>his</em> hand, and <em>his</em> mouth. He looked down, not believing it could be real, thinking that it wasn’t Gladio’s body still sleeping peacefully beside him, just a figment of his imagination or worse, a cruel dream.</p><p>Prompto didn’t dare blink in case the image vanished and he woke as he had for thirty-five days straight, trapped in Gladio Amicitia’s body with no hope of returning to his own.</p><p>With his mouth hanging open in disbelief he counted every freckle and observed every golden hair on both of his arms, then laid his trembling hands on Gladio’s shoulders and squeezed.</p><p>He <em>felt </em>solid, but sometimes dreams felt real too.</p><p>“Gladio?” he whispered, half-expecting it to be Gladio’s voice he spoke with, but nope, it was his alright, higher and lighter and cracking with a surge of emotion. Tears of relief pricked at the corners of his eyes. “Gladio, wake up,” he urged, excitedly now. Holding onto his shoulders, he shook Gladio with all his might, grinning as Gladio moaned and swatted at him.</p><p>“Sleepin’,” Gladio protested, the sound sweeter to Prompto’s ears than any birdsong.</p><p>“Gladio, it <em>worked</em>!” Prompto insisted, flopping back onto the arm of the couch with an incredulous cry. “Dude, it really worked!”</p><p>Gladio looked just as disoriented as Prompto had felt when he eventually came to, squinting up at Prompto like he didn’t believe he was real at first. Prompto had the immense pleasure of watching the realization dawn on his face.</p><p>“Holy shit,” Gladio breathed before pushing himself back onto his hands and knees. He looked down as if to double check he wasn’t imagining things. “Holy shit!”</p><p>Their laughter created a soothing harmony, and before Prompto knew it, Gladio was pulling him into a crushing hug.</p><p>Heat rushed from Prompto’s head to his toes as he returned Gladio’s embrace, strange and all-too-familiar. Gladio murmured against his neck. “Guess you’re the prince after all.”</p><p>When they finally pulled apart, Prompto managed to chuckle. “Guess so.”</p><p>He watched as Gladio jumped up to stretch his arm overhead, lithe for someone so large. “Well, guess we should break the good news to Specs and Noct, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Prompto agreed, unconvincingly. He was worrying at his lower lip, eyebrows pulled into a severe frown. The expression earned him a side-eye from Gladio.</p><p>“What, you <em>don’t</em> want to tell them?”</p><p>Maybe it was silly (and a little mean), but Prompto kind of didn’t. Call him crazy, but it was Noctis’s fault they were in this situation to begin with, so it made sense to drag out the charade a <em>little </em>longer, just to mess with him. An eye for an eye, and all that. Not <em>too</em> long, of course—that would be cruel and unusual punishment—but Noctis could stand to spend another day thinking he had irrevocably doomed two of his best friends to lives of mistaken identities for shits and giggles.</p><p>Without having to explain, Gladio seemed to understand the gist of Prompto’s thought process, a wicked grin unfurling on his face. “Guess I rubbed off on you a little bit after all,” he mused. “All right, I’m game.”</p><p>Gladio came to stand in front of Prompto, extending a hand to help him to his feet. Gratefully, Prompto took it, his own legs feeling small and unsteady beneath him even as Gladio held firm, not releasing his hand.</p><p>As his gaze panned up to Gladio’s smiling face, a slow heat blossomed in Prompto’s gut.</p><p>“You don’t think another kiss will undo it, do you?” Gladio wondered, his tone casual yet still sultry enough to make Prompto’s pulse race.</p><p>Fighting through his reflexive shyness, Prompto shook his head. “As long as I don’t turn into a frog, I think I’m good.”</p><p>He watched as Gladio’s hands came up to frame his face, angling his jaw so that their mouths would meet flawlessly. This time, Prompto didn’t have to pretend that the kiss was everything he wanted and more. It was his lips moving, his hands holding, his heart skipping—amid it all, a laugh caught deep in Prompto’s throat.</p><p>He had realized with astonishing certainty that it was Tuesday.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Later, when Gladio and Prompto finally break the news that they're back to normal, Noctis and Ignis ask how they managed to reverse the status effect.</p><p>Gladio and Prompto glance at each other casually, shrug, and say that they have no godly idea.</p><p> </p><p>Find me on Twitter @HardNoctLife or Tumblr at hard-noct-life.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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